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Thursday, November 29, 2007
A sucker day & ART CLUB!
10:18 PM What will you feel if a friend you love helping with her/his problems played a trick on you? It hurts, right? I was in a bad trip earlier. I went to school feeling so down. I miss someone. & after a while, another thing happened after lunch. It really made me feel very bad. Right now, after talking to some friends in YM, I feel kinda okay now. At least I know that there are people who supports me. I first talked to Chesca about it in art class after school. She told me not to take it seriously. I'm really, really sensitive and for me, it's a very sad thing for a friend to do that to me. One said sorry to me already. I'm not mad. It's just sad thinking, why do they have to try looking serious with that thing a while ago? It's pretty obvious that they were already joking. But why do they have to lie to me and decide not to tell me the truth? Sad thing is, they're the friends I love to help when they have problems. I really want to be close to them. I want them to be confident sharing things with me since I want to help them get over with such problems. It's like, you've helped that person and that person's payback for you is a prank. Anyhow, enough of this already. I'm trying to enjoy my day without thinking about that. I know it's kinda mababaw but for me, it's a serious thing. I just don't want to be fooled and get laughed at anymore or worst, saying bad things behind my back. I had a worst experience of that kind. I'm sorta getting over it but bad memories just flow out of nowhere when similar things are currently happening. Ugh. I hate it. Okay so, I ENJOYED art club. "I so hate it! Marco gets a high score even without studying! But... I think it really runs in the family. I mean, his aunt is even a BIOCHEMISTRIST!!!!" - Chesca That's for making fun of my "Squidward is an octopus" thingie! LOL! Love you sister dearest. :]] I'm sleepy. I'll just update tomorrow. & OMIGAHD!! I'm so excited for the HERO CON. on Saturday! Sad, Alodia (my favourite cosplayer) won't be coming there. She'll be coming on the 2nd day of the event. Waaaaaaaaaaaaah *tears* we won't be able to see her. Nightie-night. Sunday, November 25, 2007
adjustment day. :D
9:09 PM *smiles* Gooodieee. I went to my dentist today for my brace adjustment. :] I picked red for my rubbers :D it kinda hurts now 'cause I have a continuos rubber on my upper teeth *is in pain*. Ouch. Err. I didn't enjoy my day today because I wasn't able to buy myself a new school bag. I'm kinda happy 'cause I bought a new simple t-shirt with a cross graphic with sequins on it. Wheee. I bought it at the new LANDMARK mall in North Edsa (next to Trinoma). Wuhahaha. I saw my beloved dog, Milo earlier before leaving the house. He's so big! I remember when he was still a little pup, he loves lying down that's why he's too fat (like me). But now, he has exercises in the morning & he's very healthy. I love him. :] Labradors really are big dogs. Milo grew so fast like my Golden Retriever, Buddy. Okaaay. I'm suppose to type here about the party last Friday for the two teachers (Ms. Llanto & Mr. Tabada). I'm too lazy to write it. : All I can say is, Angelo, Kat & Marilag did a good job in their drama. It really looked realistic. :]] I even got scared at the first act for Ms. Llanto. LOL. 2nd act for Mr. Tabada: Sir knew it was all an act 'cause he saw Angelo smiling while doing a fake fight between him and Marilag. But the first one with Kat looked real! :D 3rd act for our 2 History teachers: It looked too real but our current History teacher, Ms. Datu-Ramos knew it was all an act after talking to Angelo about his "lost wallet". :]] Ugh. I don't really like typing it here because I don't really like mentioning our teacher's names in here. All I can say is, it was fun but a little scary because we don't know what might turn out in the end after scaring our teachers to death because of a fake fight. Haha. Oh well. Noooo. School again tomorrow. : I'm excited but I'm too lazy to get up early tomorrow. Demmit. : I wish we don't have classes on Friday! *prays*. & Oh yeah! I'm halfway done in my Biology homework pictures. I'll be done by Wednesday. I'm such a lazy bum in doing projects like this. Waaa. : Anyways, countdown to Christmas! 1 MONTH LEFT. xDD Friday, November 23, 2007
Happy Hours & remembering HELL days
8:21 PM I feel happy. I think, I've started this school year right. I mean, I love my school. Unlike before, I hated the school so much. It's like, I wanna kill all the students & workers there. But I just realized, I was just being too self-centered, that's all. I was a loner. I didn't have much friends & I hated being around people. I crave attentions from my teachers & my classmates which led to weird & bad looks (kind of like disgusted or 'do-not-want' looks). I wanted myself to change for the better, that's why I decided to transfer school. I applied for Assumption College. I liked the school. The campus was big and they have a church inside. The classrooms are your usual view of any other classrooms in any school but it's kinda bigger. I took the entrance exam with my old classmate, Krizzia Koh. I was shocked to see her while waiting for the person-in-charge to bring us to the testing room. Lucky Krizzia, she passed the entrance exam while loser me, FAILED. The second was, I applied in School of the Holy Spirit, Q.C. which was near to our house in Commonwealth. The school looked really cool but the classrooms and the hallways are kinda creepy. I loved their soccer field though (which was located at the back of the school near the GYM, I think). I took the test there together with 4 or 5 other girls. The test was easy but as always, I FAILED, for the second time. I cried while talking to my aunt and daddy. I asked them what's wrong with me & they told me I should study hard next time. They were having a hard time deciding what school to go in next and decided for me to go to St. Paul University Q.C. I always go with my dad when he goes to St. Paul to fix my papers and stuffs. My most awaited part while applying there was the uniform. I love school uniforms especially the sailor ones and the oxford style ones which is usually used in IS. When I finally got my Paulinian uniform, I tried on it EVERYDAY. I was too excited for the incoming school day. I have a really boyish side, so I tried to change it on the first day of school in SP. I had a first day blooper also! I was so excited for school & I kept on jumping. I noticed that the hooks of my skirt is kinda loosey so my skirt fell down but only my back was seen! Not the entire BUTT! LOL. I went inside with my proud dad & happy step-mother. I remember my dad's face after the interview. He nearly jumped of happiness because I passed a very prestigious school (which is known for a lot of negative sides but still has a positive side, of course). He immediately called my step-mom & told me I passed. I looked at the students around me that time. Geez. I nearly died. THEY'RE ALL PRETTY. Well yeah, some aren't LIKE ME. LMFAO. The campus was filled with pretty high school girls. Guys would drool if they were in my place that tme. I also looked stupid because I was wearing a black hairband and a purple hobo bag with long socks and long skirt. GOHD. If I think about that, it gives me the creeps looking at myself. After a while, I sat down with a lot of students which was infront of the gym. I noticed O.B.M.C students running around. That time, I really felt uneasy. I was like "what if my old life in OB will soon come back because I have an old classmate here & even scool mates?? I'm not even good friends with this old classmate of mine!". I just remained calm and just smiled at the old students who look at me and smile. My old OB life didn't just come back to me. It was a lot worse that you can ever imagine... ...it was HELL. Bullies and bitches were everywhere. I took a lot of words back (words like "I love St. Paul") and became a loner and was labeled a LOSER. I cried each night but still sturggled to fight over my fears. If I can only write a book about my 1 year stay in St. Paul, I WOULD. I thought of having suicide. I thought of dropping school. I even thought of KILLING the bullies one by one. Yes, I had friends. We were the ones who are bullied since half of the class were part of the bullying group. They don't bully us physically. They bullied us by laughing at us, saying false words about us (because they misunderstand us a lot & sometimes makes a big deal about small things). A friend of mine who was bullied by them (and some of our classmates), moved to Los Angeles. There, she sent messages saying that the bullying girls sucks. But then, those girl would reply a meaner message to her saying she's too stupid to do that and all. She left last December 2006. Just before our 3rd quarter exams. She even asked me along with our other friends to report the bullies to our principal along with her mom. She wasn't able to take it any longer so they left by the week after that (I think). Left with some of my other friends who are also bullied, I tried my best to think of things that will make me happy. I visit OB once in a while because I really love to see my good friends. They always make me smile & laugh after a really bad day. I was also molded into some kind of a lesbian monster during my stay there. I learned to love the same sex & was even deeply love-struck by the girls I like. I became a BISEXUAL person. My dad had problems & wasn't able to sleep well during those days of him thinking that I'm following the footsteps of my mother. I was hurt. I was in real pain. I didn't know who I am. My aunt was also doubting I have a girlfriend in school. My dad even HIRED A SPY to check on me every snacks & lunch time. Crazy huh? They thought of transferring me back in OB but that time, I declined it. I don't want t go back to OB. For me that time, St. Paul is my new home. My friends even got dissapointed at me for not replying to their IMs and comments in friendster. I regret those times. I was really sorry. I never realized that I'll end up coming back to them when I'm in need of help. I was really selfish. I learned to love my old friends because I realized that they're my true friends & eventhough we will have a fight, I know we'll end up joking each other & hug each other. Sweet huh? Haha. But, I also thank St. Paul. My teachers who were supportive of me, my friends who helped me get over my fears and eventhough just for a short time, they made me feel I was part of them & lastly, ironic as it may seem, THE BULLIES. I wouldn't be like this if I didn't experience those kind of things. Those experiences made me a better person & made my new school life enjoyable. For religion, I think that was the only time I got closer to God. Each day, I'll pray 2 times. One in the morning, and one at night before sleeping. I thank him for letting me get through that struggle & for making me realize the truth about reality in life. He even made me think that problems are also the best thing you'll experience in your whole life because it mold us into a new and better person. The problems you're experiencing now are just starters. You have to be strong & you have to face your fears. What will you do if you will end up crying always? There are still a lot of problems to face, so why not bravely face the problems you're experiencing now so that it'll prepare you for your other life obstacles in the future? Think about it. :] hehe. OKAY. Enough said. I'm making this entry waaaaaay to long. I'll end this with a message to my close friends, classmates & OBMCI schoolmates: i love you guys so much. :] UPDATE: I'll type in the crazy things that happened a while ago in school, this entry got too long so I'll just update again tomorrow. Then again, happy birthday to our two most beloved teachers: Ms. Llanto & Mr. Tabada !!! May you both have the best of luck & may God bless you both always. We love you so much !! Thursday, November 22, 2007
a million thanks...
9:27 PM ... to Maggie. :] She helped me with my blogger account. I love her so muchie! :D Uh, this will not be a long blog entry because I'll just start posting serious ones later. (probably tomorrow). & I still have to fix my site. It's so blank. Anyways, me have to go to sleep now. Yeah it's so early 'cause it's just like... 8:30PM. LOL. Goodnight for now & expect my flodding posts here probably starting tomorrow. Haha. :] Nightie night, guys. |
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